The Hidden Struggles of Co-Parenting: When Children Become Pawns

Co-parenting works best when both parents put the child’s well-being first.

Co-parenting is often hailed as the best arrangement for children after divorce or separation. It allows both parents to remain actively involved in their child’s life, providing stability and love despite the breakdown of the marriage. In an ideal situation, it promotes balance, healthy development, and a sense of belonging for the child.

However, the reality for many families is far from ideal. One of the most pressing challenges arises when the custodial parent becomes manipulative, using the child as a weapon to punish the other parent. In some cases, the child is deliberately alienated through negative narratives, leading them to resent or even reject the other parent. This practice, sometimes referred to as parental alienation, not only causes deep emotional harm to the child but also robs them of the opportunity to build a meaningful relationship with both parents.

Such manipulation has contributed to the rise in the number of so-called “deadbeat” parents. Too often, individuals are branded as irresponsible or neglectful, when in reality, they may have been systematically pushed out of their child’s life. The custodial parent may block communication, deny visitation rights, or poison the child’s mind, making reconciliation nearly impossible. The result is a broken bond that affects not just the targeted parent but also the child, who grows up deprived of balanced guidance and affection.

Experts warn that children caught in the middle of such conflicts often suffer long-term consequences, including low self-esteem, trust issues, and difficulties forming healthy relationships later in life. The bitterness between parents also creates a toxic environment that undermines the very co-parenting principles meant to safeguard the child’s welfare.

For co-parenting to work, both parents must commit to cooperation, honesty, and respect, regardless of personal grievances. Courts, community leaders, and even family members have a role to play in ensuring that children are not turned into pawns in adult disputes. Ultimately, the well-being of the child must come first.

If left unchecked, manipulative co-parenting will continue fueling resentment, creating cycles of broken families, and wrongly painting many as “deadbeats” when the truth is far more complicated.

Reporting by: Babz Abdul Raheem N.
Date: September 4, 2025