THE DAY WE WERE WRONGLY INVITED

BY: JUMA HEMEDI 
22/06/2020

I was informed by Wakapogy our "Boy's Club" defacto leader to immediately convene the "boy's club meeting the following day at our assembly point at 'Kingstone Base'. There was an urgent disciplinary matter that needed to be discussed and as the 'chief whip I complied. 

Without being geniuses we knew what the matter was, Ngimwa also known as Mwangi had had an altercation with Wakapogi and from the rumours we had heard, it didn't go well. It was Wakapogi who had invited Ngimwa into the "gedesh'. 

I was with Iddi when wakapogi gave me the instructions, so without wasting time we started with Daddy and informed him of the meeting, the time and the place. Next we went to Wamasha and he was informed. 

We went round Majengo selectively inviting only members of our "gedesh" (squad) and those who believed in our ideals. When we arrived at kina Chaao's place we noticed his mum outside, so we pretended that we were only passing through to the other side. The good thing with Majengo those days was that you could enter and exit anywhere. There were no gates or fences. 

Unfortunately she had noticed us and without naming names she said that she had seen some 'daimonos' around who were out to 'spoil' his son. We did not need a dictionary to understand that those 'daimonos' being mentioned were us. So we took big steps faster (kukanyaga kubwa kubwa haraka upesi). 

Chaao was critical to this meeting and we had to devise a way of getting him out of the house,  so we tried our secret whistle and also our unique laugh. But none worked. So Iddi came up with his ingenious idea of throwing stones on their roof. And he did throw the stone. You see sometimes the devil just waits for you to do an innocent act for him to make you his friend. 

The stone did hit the roof, but it missed Chaao's mum by a whisker. Silence followed then all hell broke loose she appeared carrying a broom and the stone we had thrown and spoke words that we could not hear and understand since they were a mixture of various Kenyan languages to the effect that she had no problem dispatching us to our maker, but most importantly because we were running for our dear lives. 

We assembled at the 'kingstone base' the following day to hear what the issue was about our defacto leader arrived, accompanied with Daddy and we were told that we should not associate with 'Ngimwa' and that he was no longer a member of our 'gedesh'. 

Chaao joined us later and was briefed on the proceedings. Since no one had any hunting, fishing plans or any information about "raaru" (indian hot spicy food that we would eat at the Shree hindu Temple in Thika), we decided to 'relax' at the base after Wakapogi had left. 

Then Ngimwa appeared and asked me and Iddi to go with him that his mum had asked for us. We arrived at his home but his mum was nowhere to be seen, that's when he told us that they had cooked Chapatis and that his mum had said "ni za wageni" and had not counted. So he thought it wise to invite "wageni". We were glad that he had thought of us so highly and made us his 'special guests' out of the long list of people in the 'gedesh'. 

You see just incase you don't know it was written in the "chapati constitution and rules that were published before we were born, that as a mother once you finish cooking Chapatis you had to count how many they were. This was done for accountability purposes and to deal with those rascals like us who had a habit of taking more than others. 

For a majengo mother to have cooked chapatis and failed to count, while she has a "boyshaod" in the house, that was like the greatest crime and blunder of all time. 

We have no idea how many chapatis we had between the three of us, but we were still chewing and talking when we heard slaps and 'slippers za Red' landing on our heads and backs with Ngimwa's mum shouting things to the effect that the Chapatis were for her visitors who were to come for prayers.

Apparently she had reached Bismillahi and remembered that she had forgotten to count the chapatis and had decided to come back quickly. 

We were chased away with slippers following us as we took the nearest corner to disappear. We stopped at "barabara ya chini" to catch our breath, then Iddi pulled half a chapati from his pocket and started eating he had managed to hold on to it.

This kind of deceit of being invited as a 'special unwanted guest' has to stop. I now agree with Wakapogi our leader. Ngimwa has to go. Ngimwa must go!!! 

Juma Hemedi

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