SLAY NOW, SUFFER LATER: THE BRUTAL TRUTH YOUNG GIRLS NEVER WANT TO HEAR
We have some semblance of a lack of identity because social media has made us believe that unless you have certain things, then you are not complete. In this article I will personally focus on the modern girlchild.
Most young girls today are not looking for a happy ever after. They are chasing instant gratification and what they call stability. And once they feel they have that, they think there is nothing else they need. But what is this stability and to what lengths are you willing to go to get it?
So many girls as young as 18–19 years old are dating men in their 30s and 40s because of money. These girls have refused to date boys their age because they are called “immature.” Yet in the real sense, that so-called immaturity is simply because the boy cannot afford the kind of lifestyle these girls want. They see no problem in giving up their bodies as long as they get money. They claim that they prefer older men because boys their age “act like kids.” But are they not simply acting their age?
These older men can make you feel like the most beautiful woman in the world, but it doesn’t matter what he tells you, believe you me, he has told another 20 or even 100 other girls the same thing, most of whom he also met on social media.
Please girls understand this clearly: No one will just give you money for free as if they were an NGO. They will give you money expecting something in return..... You will need to give them something in return, if you are not already doing so.
Some girls think that just because he gives her cash whenever she asks him for any favour, that amounts to love or maturity. The 2,000 shillings he give you per week is very little money to some of these men. He can do that for seven other women. That’s barely 14,000 shillings weekly, which might be just a drop in the ocean.
The moment he gives you money, you feel obligated to pay back his favour. It is not an investment. You are simply donating your body for him to toy around with you for as he needs a relief.
If he is sleeping with you, the day he gives you 4,000, he will want to sleep with you without protection. Please note that he is doing the same with another seven or so desperate girls. Now that you are 19, by the age of 21, you may have already signed your death certificate.
When a girl says that she would rather date an older man because boys her age behave like children or that dating older men make her mature, that is a lie. Maturity is not about age. In actual fact, that young man you are calling immature is displaying a higher level of maturity by choosing not to sleep around.
If young girls are all dating older men for lifestyle, then who is supposed to date these young men? Should they now go for older women? This situation is very frustrating for the boychild. That is the challenge we are creating.
And there is something else these girls need to understand. When the time comes for marriage, these older men will leave you and go to marry women their age. You find yourself going back to look for the same boys you once despised. And what will they tell you? That you are already a spent force, “umechapa”. That they will not take you.
Every time you meet a 30-year-old man on social media, please keep in mind that his long-term plans are not with you. His plan with you is at the bedtime. When he gives you 2,000, that already tells me something.... low maintenance.
Is it really worth giving your body? Because chances are, after you have already compromised yourself and he has already gotten what he wanted, he will only call you when he wants your body. He will not call you to discuss his five-year plan. He will not call you to share his ten-year vision. He will not call you to involve you in a business idea.
And at some point, he will leave you for someone his age. By then, the boys you once called “kiddish” will have moved on and someone else will have seen their value.
Then what happens? That same young man you looked down upon will tell you that you are already used goods. So, when you say boys your age are immature, understand this.... Dating many men is not maturity. That young man you are dismissing today could be the one showing real discipline.
What many of these girls are doing today is no different from what commercial sex workers do along Koinange Street in Nairobi or Uhuru Street in Thika. You are both trading with your bodies. The only difference is that you are executing yours “in an educated way.” But it is the same business, different locations.
The biggest driver of this lifestyle fallacy is social media. It is about the false image projected by people online. Girls get into these relationships for easy gratification, thinking that they are the ones benefiting. They think that they are using the man for money. But what are they using that money for? Hair, nails, clothes, very temporary things. Not school fees, not investments, not assets.
They want to look good in school, keep up with trends and fit in. Some come from backgrounds where their parents cannot afford certain things, so they turn to these men as “sponsors” to fund their lifestyle. All this because of the pressure to look good and chase fame.
But what they fail to understand is that what people post on social media is just the best 10% of their lives. Why are pressure yourself to keep up with something that is not even real?
Before a man sleeps with you, he will give you small amounts; 1,000, 2,000, 3,000, just enough to keep you hooked. The moment this man sleeps with you, he is done with you. He moves on.
The moment your lifestyle demands say Ksh. 30,000, Ksh. 50,000 or a 100,000 shillings a month, that man will vanish from your life and even block you. This means that you will keep jumping from one man to another, each one giving you money before getting access to your body. And once he is done, you move again. And again. And again.
So in the end, you say you are building a future, maybe even dreaming of a mansion. But what is the point of having a long-term plan while putting your health and your life at risk today? Will you even be there long enough to achieve that future?
That is the question many are avoiding.
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