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The Karate movies and other issues

By: Juma Hemedi

Latifa came in and interrupted our interesting conversation. It was not really a conversation but one of us I cant remember who was explaining to us about the movie that would be showing next during the 'watoto kaa chini' Factual films at the St. Patricks primary school near U-shops centre (today the place has St. Patricks primary school for mentally challenged.) the narrator was telling us about some guy in the movie called jaws who had steel teeth and would bite through steel. This guy was also huge and could knock two grown up people down with only one blow.

We couldn't wait for the 25th of that month to watch that movie. You see this guy had even dramatised how this man with 'meno ya chuma' would bite and how the main star of the movie who always win at the end by having everyone killed and him walking with the fine lady in the movie or the item that would be the ultimate prize. You see it was only in these kind of movies where some bad guy would come and Kill some Karate master and everyone else apart from some boy who would be like four years old who would be conveniently hiding in a place where the bad guy would not see but the boy would see the bad guy.

This boy then would grow up to be a fine man who would travel the world after learning some high karate kicks and chops, looking for the man who killed the master 30 years before. Interestingly he would still have the memories from back when he was like four years old and the wonder would be the bad guy would not have aged a bit. So the young man would say 'you killed my master thirty years ago and im here to revenge. I challenge you for a fight to death' you see you dont just walk in to the bad guys compound and start fighting him.

The young man would have first fought off like two hundred other guys, mostly the disciples of the bad guy, he would have fought with swords, spears, chop sticks, knives and some pieces of wood bound together with a small chain called 'dragon'.

After killing or maiming the two hundred or so guys, the young man would still have strength to fight this master bad guy who killed his master 30 years ago. Each of them would first showcase the technique they would use to kill each other by moving their arms in the air, one would show an eagle fist and the other one would have a 'cobra' style. Then the hand to hand combat would begin.

You should also know that this guys can kill each others with their fingers hitting the correct places with the right intensity and force. But the bad guy wont just die before saying something to the effect 'who taught you that technique'? And after getting the answer he would then peacefully die. People in movies dont just die like coackroaches they have to stay long enough to pass some message to someone.

Anyway Latifa had come back from a trip her parents had taken her to Mombasa, she had gone with a plane. So we had to interrupt our narrator for the movie to listen to Latifa who used to hang out with boys more than girls. She would fight with boys and play football with us. When we went hunting in chania river and the delmonte areas Latifa would refuse to be left behind. So when she had a story to tell you, you had to listen because you will not have peace.

She told us how big the plane was and how it rises from the ground and that they were searved with meals on the plane. Whatt???!!! Asked one of us. 'chakula?  Aje? You know the closest we had come to a plane was in the movies and when we would run out when we hear a plane flying to go and wave at the people on the plane as if they saw us, but it made us feel good.

So just having among us someone with a real experience of getting on a plane and coming to madrasa to tell us about is was more than we imagined, and Latifa did a good job of giving the story, she had been around us long enough to understand that every detail was as important as the next. She was explaining about how the meals were and the beach she visited when Maalim Adam came to tell us the break time was over and we should get back to class.

I remembered that Latifa never really got to finish her story when the flight attendant for the Emirates flight I was in recently asked me what I would eat, just then I glanced throuth the flier menu that had been passed earlier. The menu indicated that there were two choices of meals;

one was "Sauteed Salmon. 'in dill sauce, searved with seven grain rice and steamed broccoli with carrots"
The other choice was "chicken in creamy tomato sauce served with sauteed spinach and quinoa gratin with Mediterranean vegetables"

The apetiser for both was "lentil salad". What happened to writting a menu that would be understood by simple people? I was looking for chapati dengu or madondo and something like 'surwa shtua'.

Anyway since the flight attendant was waiting for my order, I just said Salmon (whatever that was, but there was no carrot in the meal) . I should look for Latifa to enlighten me on these meals and the menu. Should I also complain about the carrot issie that was on the menu but not on the plane?
What do you think?

Juma Hemedi

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